making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
