I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
