I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
