college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drake has all the answers
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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