I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
