when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
