what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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