fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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