I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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