When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
