sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
