...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
