Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
