I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so that wasnt chicken after all
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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