I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
