Got a toothbrush?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
