My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
