sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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