we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
