Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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