dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
