Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
