pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
