It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
