Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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