After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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