Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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