ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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