Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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