I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
