ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
