Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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