She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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