tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
