That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
