I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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