I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
