You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you never un-have a 4some
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
