I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
