That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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