Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
did i just pee glitter
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