Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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