God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
