Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
