Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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