i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
