Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
