I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
