took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
