chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
