Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
