I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
