I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i dont even know how to be here
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
