Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
